Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
