I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
