I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
