Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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