If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
