I seem to have left my pride at pride
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
