He passed out mid-signature
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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