i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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