I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love you. Go after that dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
