We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
