saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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