member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
