Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
