I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and she was petting her beer can
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
