I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're breaking my sexual little heart
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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