We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize