Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
