Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize