He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
