Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize