if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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