i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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