PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
