ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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