Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
