oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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