just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize