who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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