i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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