Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
