While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
someone owes me an orgasm
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize