Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
