Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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