i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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