I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
