We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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