She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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