some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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