This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
