HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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