My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
