god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize