i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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