i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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