I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
