your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
