it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
