If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
