i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
