Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
