so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize