Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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