Apparently you make a good broom.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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