I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
barbara walters just said penis...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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