C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
