Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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